Hamas Commanders Agree Sinwar Definitely The “Ross” Of Their Underground Tunnel Social Circle
In an exclusive interview with high-ranking members of the terrorist group Hamas, it has been revealed that Yayah Sinwar is definitely the “Ross” of the core group of friends inhabiting the group’s underground tunnel system.
“I know he thinks he is the Joey but everyone here knows he is the Ross,” said Jamal Amin, Chief Torturer and Barista at West Tunnel #76, “and to be the Ross is certainly a source of great shame.”
Sources report that Sinwar solidified his role during a recent project to move armaments to a lower level. While carrying several Katyusha rockets around a narrow bend, the terrorist leader was heard to shout “Pivot!” repeatedly in a vain attempt to guide his followers.
“I mean, could he BE any more annoying?!” said Hamid “Chandler” Bashar.
Initial suspicions that Sinwar was definitely Ross began in recent months as he was seen to be even more mopey and whiney than usual, and obsessing over his ‘will-they, won’t-they’ deal with Hamas leadership based in Qatar. Further, in the aftermath of an undesired war with Israel, Sinwar has been seen yelling that Hamas was on a break with Iran.
“The real lynchpin was when he gave a loyalty pledge to Ismail Haniyeh and accidentally called him Ahmed Yassin in front of everyone,” stated Bashar, “I mean, Haniyeh forgave him but things are still totes awkward.”
At press time, claims that people in the West Bank think that Mahmoud Abbas is definitely the George Costanza of Fatah are still unsubstantiated.
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