Link Between Brain Damage And Antisemitism Found In UFC Fighter’s Brain
After supporting Hitler’s actions while simultaneously denying the holocaust, UFC fighter Bryce Mitchell was sent to Mount Sinai Hospital for an emergency MRI where doctors were able to isolate for the first time the part of the brain responsible for not hating Jews. Early testing has shown that Mitchell’s “Judea oblongata” is deeply corroded by repeated blows to the head and an unhealthy media diet. The Judea oblongata is located directly in front of the “Colored Cortex” which was found by the same researchers in 2016 to oversee racism. This likely explains the long-standing observation that in any highly nationalistic or fascist country the Jews are the first minority to suffer, followed by other minorities such as gays and people of color.
Word on Mitchell’s condition is still unclear, but it is reported that the notorious Josh Emmet KO made major contributions to his Antisemitism, which was then supplemented by his free access to the internet, more specifically right-wing media blogs.
Mitchell has been reported as saying, “I don’t know what the problem is, I was just speaking my mind and all of a sudden, these filthy Jews have me in a machine and claim my brain is broken. I thought this was America!” whilst drool was slowly escaping his mouth, seemingly without his knowledge.
UFC president Dana White commented on this recent development saying “Yeah, no shit Sherlock, didn’t you guys see him hold up a bible and scream ‘FREEDOM!’ during his last fight? Mitchell is one of the dumbest individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of profiting off of, and I can’t wait to do it again.”
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