Procrastinating Antisemite Accuses Jews Of Oppressing, geez I dunno, This Frog Maybe?
THE CREEK – In a vox-pop interview, we caught up with full-time antisemite Unicorn Sunbeam during an early morning scramble for material:
“The hate rally was in two hours but I also had to touch up my roots because the purple was starting to fade so I didn’t have anything prepared. Not gonna lie I’ve been really procrastinating. Didn’t even have anything when I left the the house but then I had a major brainwave when I passed a drainage ditch”
“Kind of a stretch but I had like, no time, so it’s like, those frogs are in the ditch because of the Jews, right? They are oppressed. They are so oppressed. Jews control the banks, the weather, the building code. Why can’t there be a pond where frogs can be free? Why a ditch? Jews is why.”
As we walked and talked, Sunbeam began workshopping chants:
“From the Ribbit to the Sea? No, no. From the pond to the other side of the pond? Nope, not it…. Ok ok got it: ‘Come on guys, stay up, stay woke – frog-hating Jews can all go croak'”
“That’s good, right? Right? Please just tell me I’m good. Please.”
As we parted ways, Unicorn had hurriedly pulled out her cellphone and was making a call to a supplier for froggy-sized keffiyehs.
We remain your “Eyes On The Street” – The Daily Brine
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