Greta Thunberg Deemed ‘too gay’ For Gaza
Following the outcry over the existence of gay people who want to help Palestine from several members of Greta Thunberg’s “flotilla” to Gaza, Thunberg – the leader of what has been described as a circular firing squad posing as a humanitarian convoy – removed herself from the top of the organization.
A statement released by Greta herself stated “I have listened and received feedback from several members of the convoy who apparently once saw me look a woman up and down as she got out of a pool. They stated that women are not allowed to look at other women in their culture, and that my actions deeply offended them even though it was barely noticeable. At first, I was outraged that men would have the audacity to speak about women this way but then I was informed that these were some of our Muslim crew members, and should therefore be placated completely. We all know homophobia has no place in this world, but also that as a white person I should never challenge or question any other culture. I am the problem here.”
Greta’s demotion caused an outcry in the flotilla itself, with most people claiming a demotion is not enough. The offended crew members launched into an impromptu protest onboard claiming that “This is the only way we know how to address problems so here we are.” They immediately started calling for her complete resignation, saying: “everyone should have to learn to live with other cultures, except Muslims,” “white can’t be right” and “equality for all.”In response to this, every major publication has been seen twiddling their thumbs and whistling while pretending not to notice. One group who did go out of their way to respond was an Israeli LGBTQ organization called “We Actually Care About Gay People”, who issued a press release simply stating “no way!!!” followed by a popular gif of a dog appearing surprised, which is frequently used sarcastically.
When asked about their lack of response the head of the ACLU responded “it’s simple, the TikToks people are making about this issue get flagged for removal by the Chinese government, so LGBTQ people in America simply have not been told they need to care about this, and since they don’t, we don’t. I am white and therefore the problem here.”
We will continue to monitor this situation, seeing as how no one else seems to be interested in reporting on homophobia when it comes from Muslims.
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