Country That Doesn’t Negotiate With Terrorists Asks Israel To Negotiate With Terrorists

WASHINGTON, DC – Budding militants are taking note as the USA seeks to reward Hamas atrocities with a new proposal for statehood.

“We just think it’s really interesting how Hamas pretended to want a state so that Israel would let their guard down, then attacked them while they were distracted with their democratic system.”, Said a US negotiator who is leading the talks. “Fantastic strategy and definitely worthy of a state of their own. I mean, we would never go for something like that, but that won’t stop us from recommending it in this case”

In response, would-be militants the world over are reportedly gathering for a conference in Qatar titled the: “I Can’t Believe This Is Actually Working And How Can We Do This Everywhere Convention”. Non-alcoholic punch and pie will be served