UN Condemns Hamas For Lack Of Handrails

GENEVA, SW – After months of silence in the wake of Hamas’ October 7th massacre against Israeli civilians, the United Nations has finally issued the following statement regarding Hamas’ conduct:

“We unequivocally condemn Hamas for using aid supplies to construct terror tunnels without adequate handrails. The health, safety, and human rights of the terrorists who live and work within these tunnels is compromised by this wilful and illegal omission. Someone might fall and hurt themselves. We demand that an observer force be permitted to monitor the installation of all required railings. Also doorstops and foamy corner guards wherever there are sharp edges. And one of those doorbells with the camera.”

It is as-yet undetermined whether the UN will also require handicap-accessible ramps.